Ah, the joy…

March 26, 2008

I promise I haven’t given up…I just had a mostly bad week last week.  I actually felt pretty good the first half of it – made a bunch of food for a potluck on Monday, had my glucose test on Tuesday (not fun, but no big deal) and had a friend over with her baby on Wednesday.  And then Thursday I started feeling sick.  It went on until Saturday, and by then it was really bad.  I had a nasty pain in my stomach for quite a while, so I went into emergency on Saturday.  After blood tests and waiting, waiting, the doctor said that he suspects it’s just the position of the uterus and the baby that are giving me pain.  Hooray.  Just what I wanted to hear.  Not something that can be treated, but instead, something that may last for weeks.  However, by Sunday morning, I was feeling a lot better.  I’m taking maalox (yummy) and I can take gravol or tylenol when I need it for nausea or pain. 

Fortunately, the baby reminded me of its presence repeatedly throughout the three days of being sick.  I was paying close attention to it so that I would know if I needed to go in.  It may have been moving more than normal, and hasn’t slowed down since then.  Heart rate was good on Saturday and I don’t expect that being sick did anything bad in regards to the baby. 

My baking obsession has cooled down a bit, perhaps because of illness, but also because of simple exhaustion.  I really ought to bake bread today, but I really don’t feel like it.  I’ve been thinking about baking cookies to send to work with Mike, too, but again, it just feels like too much work.  I did make jam yesterday, which I’ve been planning for some time but just haven’t gotten around to.  I bought strawberries over a week ago, so it’s a good thing I got to it yesterday.  I only lost one whole strawberry to mold/rot..the rest were perfect. 

I guess even writing isn’t appealing too much to me right now.  I feel like having a nap, but it’s just now ten o’clock in the morning and I’ve barely even had breakfast.  It sure would be nice if I could shake this sleepiness.  I even got to bed early last night (before ten!) and I’m still tired.  Maybe today will have to be a napping day when the kids are down, rather than spending it doing something productive.

For the record, this is my twenty-ninth week.  I think I only missed the twenty-eighth week, but then I’m having trouble keeping track of the date and time lately.

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Week seventeen

January 4, 2008

I can’t promise anything lengthy, but if I’m going to hold up my side of the bargain, than I’d better write sometime this week.  I’m feeling rather emotionally overwhelmed today, but it’s induced by an overly emotional book (and hormones don’t help, either).  I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard or so much as I did reading the book I just finished.  And there are four more in the series.  With any luck, I’ll be able to pick up the next three tonight.  Just after crying my eyes out and nearly giving myself a headache, Jenny came into the kitchen and took the open box of Corn Pops off of the counter (without me noticing).  I was doing something on the computer and then calling Mike at work when she came back into the kitchen, handed me the box and said, “All gone.”  Sure enough, the box was empty.  It was definitely not empty the last time I had poured cereal out of it.  I went into the living room to turn down the TV and expecting to find a huge mess all over the floor (all this time, waiting for Mike to get the phone at work).  Instead, I found a bowl completely full of cereal and a handful on the floor.  Jenny knew what she was doing, anyway.  I told Mike on the phone and we both had a good laugh over it.  Weeping tears over a fictional story one minute and cracking up over my two year olds antics the next makes a person feel a little out of whack.

In other news, I went to the doctor on Wednesday and everything is good (no surprise there).  My doctor did the doppler thing and then said the heartrate was 128 BPM – and if I believed old wives tales, I was having a boy due to the low heartrate.  I don’t think so.  I feel more like this is a girl than a boy, and when I looked back at my journal entries from when I was pregnant with Jenny, her heartrate was frequently around 130, so I’m not buying into it. 

I am feeling quite pregnant most of the time, and certainly looking it.  I look a lot more pregnant than I am, but that’s just the baby pushing up on everything above it and making it all stick out.  I simply cannot suck it in anymore.  My sister-in-law is four weeks ahead of me and has a decent belly, but it’s low down and obviously all baby.  Mine is high, but I know that baby is way down low.  People are starting to rub my belly and make comments, even, but it’s a farce…baby is not where they’re touching.  If they touched where baby was, they’d be a little low for my liking. 

I’m also pretty certain I’ve been feeling movement for quite some time now, but it’s very sporadic.  Reading a journal from when I was pregnant with Elias, I guess he didn’t move much early on either. 

I said I couldn’t promise much, and I was right.  I’m working on some fiction when I have time, which I suppose makes my non-fiction/journaling/blogging not nearly as entertaining as it could be.  However, if I could ever write a book like I’ve thought of doing for as long as I can remember, it would actually bring some revenue, whereas the other type of writing may never pay off (other than that dream job – writing a weekly editorial from home…ahhhh). 

I skipped the eleventh week and I very nearly skipped week twelve, too, but I caught myself.  This week, we heard our baby’s heartbeat.  It always amazes and impresses me, even now.  I think in some ways, it’s more incredible after the first baby, because I realize that that tiny heart that is beating is going to be an individual and will look different than my other children and will have their own personality – and I will love them so much.  It also solidifies a pregnancy because except for feeling sick, there is nothing to prove that I’m pregnant until I start to show.  At twelve weeks, I can’t quite suck my stomach in, but that’s nothing that strange anyway.  Hearing that baby’s heart beating at 150 beats per minute just proves that there is, indeed, a little one growing in my womb. 

After being through it twice before, you would think I wouldn’t need proof other than puking and a pregnancy test, but the heartbeat and the ultrasound are usually big moments for me.  Not that I enjoy ultrasounds (because I really don’t), but seeing the baby is pretty incredible.

I suppose the reason I didn’t write last week was primarily because I was so sick, but this week, I just feel a lack of creativity.

To recap week eleven, I ran out of Diclectin on Sunday night and didn’t get an emergency supply until Thursday (since I didn’t know I could do that).  I was right back to being as sick as I was when I was six weeks pregnant (which was by far the worst week I had).  This last week has been pretty easy, except for cramps I’ve been having that are nothing more than uterine stretching (and very normal for this time of pregnancy) and one night when I puked after going to bed.  I laid there, trying to have a normal conversation with Mike and then realized it was pointless to put it off – I had to vomit.  Fun, fun.

Well, my lack of creativity is making it hard to think of things to say.  But at least I can say I only missed one week of journaling.