I’ve reached a new low

April 30, 2008

My ice cravings finally got so bad that I did the unthinkable.  I bought ice.  Gasp.  I was growing tired of refilling the trays at home and stopping for the good small ice chips at restaurants, so I bought a big bag of ice that barely fit in my freezer for about $2.89.  Not so bad, really, considering that I’ve probably spent that in gas money (HA! more than that, I’m sure) driving to fast food places to ask for free ice in the biggest cup they can spare.  Speaking of that, I got reprimanded at Wendy’s (did I already mention that?) and then proceeded to feel guilty every time I tried to get ice without buying anything.  If I’m actually eating something, that’s different – if they’ll give you free water, they will give you free ice.  So, now I have a nice little supply that should last me the rest of this week (I think).  They’re not ideal ice chips, but rather the round kind that are about an inch long and have a hole through the middle.  Still, they’re better than homemade ice. 

Did all of that sound as completely ridiculous as I think it did??  Good.  That’s my life.

So, my doctor’s appointment yesterday revealed that I have gained more like four pounds in two weeks, rather than what I was hoping for at a pound per week.  I’m not going to freak out about this because my doctor says it’s just fine.  It’s just that I have this fear of hitting forty pounds gained in a pregnancy.  I know, I probably have readers that have gained a whole lot more than forty, but so far, thirty-three is the most I’ve gained in a pregnancy and I’d love to keep it that way.  It just makes it easier to lose the weight afterward. 

Other than weight, my doctor seemed pleased with everything.  I’m measuring large for where I’m at, which is not a suprise because my babies come big.  In fact, she didn’t suggest a change in my due date, but just agreed with me that the baby is big like Jenny was (and Elias should have been).  When I mentioned the fact that I’ve been getting Braxton Hicks very frequently even when I’m sitting down, and that they hurt, she said she figures I’ll be early.  I’m not convinced of this, but you never know.  I am convinced that Elias being born early was my fault and not the way it should have been.  I expect to be late.  I expect..to be…late.  Sigh. 

The highlight of the day (Tuesday) was making sweet potato and avacado sushi and going to a friend’s house for lunch.  She kept Elias for me while Jenny and I went to the doctor, which is always a treat.  That little boy does not like being confined to a stroller and does not like being told what to do (i.e. sit still, don’t stand up in the stroller, come back here, you little…).  Jenny does somewhat better, although the draw of the play area is a bigger thing for her than her brother.  I brought her with me yesterday because she has now had diarrhea for more than three weeks.  She doesn’t seem sick, is eating fine, hasn’t had a fever, but seemingly can’t get back to normal digestion.  So now I get the super fun task of collecting a stool sample.  Hooray for me!  I am willing to go through it, because obviously, a small child who can’t process things normally is somewhat worrisome.  They’re testing her white blood cell count and in the middle of the night last night, all I could think about was leukemia.  I laid there crying, attempting to go back to sleep and imagining life without my beautiful Jenny.  This is a very bad habit.  Before I had her, when Mike still went out of town for work, I would imagine all sorts of awful things when he was five minutes late calling or getting home.  And now that I have children, I have three people to think this way about (well, four, because I also worry that I might lose the baby). 

Turns out Jenny has only one symptom of leukemia – the diarrhea thing – and I shouldn’t worry.  Not only that, but if it became something we had to face, my cousin went through it when she was three or four and so my family has been there before.  I shouldn’t worry anyway, because I know it’s not good for me and God doesn’t like it (really…I imagine it breaks His heart that we worry so much sometimes). 

Well, now that I’ve brought back my fears and cried a little more, I think I’ll go read about food.  I always feel better when I do that. 

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First things first.  I am thirty-two weeks pregnant and I have gained approximately twenty-two pounds as of Tuesday.  If I gain the average of one pound each remaining week (just an average, but I’m counting on sticking to it more or less), I’ll reach thirty pounds of gain when I’m at forty weeks.  This works for me, as I gained thirty-three with Jenny and twenty-seven with Elias and I like the idea of making it through three pregnancies gaining relatively the same amount of weight.  Not only that, but I lost the weight after Jenny in six months and after Elias, I lost it in six weeks.  This seems to be based on nursing alone, because I haven’t worked out like crazy after giving birth or anything.  The six week weight loss must have been from nursing, because I always take it pretty easy during that time.  However, I am aware that I shouldn’t get lazy just because I’ve had it easy before.  I have every intention of at least going walking with the kids after the baby is born.  Unfortunately, winter walking is not very easy here, so I haven’t done much at all since September.  Summers make for good walking as long as it isn’t too hot.  I have recently discovered that my neighbour is pregnant and due in September, so I’m hoping I can talk her into walking with me some this summer.  My sister-in-law is due in three weeks, so she may make a good walking buddy, too, although her idea of walking is more like hiking.  Hiking with one kid strapped to your back or front is one thing, but attempting it with three kids is not something I’d want to try on my own.

On to my title.  Everyone keeps asking me if I’m anemic, because I want ice all the time.  I have found that it is just part of pregnancy for me to want ice in large quantities, and each time my iron levels have been tested, I’ve been fine.  It started about a  month ago, and for some time, I was content to munch on the ice at home and the ice in my glass when we went out to eat.  Now it’s gone to the next level, which sends me through the drive thru at Wendy’s at least once a week for a large cup of ice.  Yesterday, I had my customary ice at home at least twice, a large (very large) cup of ice from Wendy’s, and then a smaller cup from KFC in the evening.  I hate to know what I may be doing to my teeth, but so far, they seem to be doing all right.

Another craving I’ve been dealing with is the ever present “food I can’t get here” craving.  I frustrated myself to the point of tears two days ago because I couldn’t put a name to what I wanted.  I decided that I only had myself to blame – I’ve been reading MSG150, Enjoy Thai Food, Not Martha (not always food, but good when it is), and most recently, The GastroGnome.  These people get to eat so much good stuff, whether made by themselves or eaten out, and I am insanely jealous at times.  When I manage to make a really satisfying meal, I can ignore the envy, but when I’m feeling tired and unmotivated and wanting to go out, I really wish I had all these restaurants at my fingertips.  Particularly with the MSG crew and Naomi at The GastroGnome, I feel my jealousy sparked along with homesickness, since they are both in Seattle and a great deal of their writing centers around Seattle eateries.  MSG has been great fun to read – they’re visiting every restaurant in the International District that is open for lunch and has its primary source of income from food (no coffee shops, basically).  While some of their visits I would completely avoid (those with no vegetarian options), most of them have at the very least been entertaining to read about.  I am particularly interested in visiting Vegetarian Bistro for good dim sum, Blue and Pink for Korean food, which I haven’t had much of, and at least one place for congee, which sounds like something right up my alley.

But now I’m salivating and I should move onto something else that won’t make me hungry (which actually isn’t so bad, since I’m having lunch with my mother-in-law in half an hour).

And here it comes, folks, those other things mentioned that I hate talking about but hate living with even more.

Hemorrhoids are a fact of life for many elderly and overweight people and also for many pregnant women.  I’m just going to be honest here and say that the trouble started when I was pushing Elias out.  I was in pain for a week or so, but they went away.  And now they’re back and I’m wondering if they’re worse this time.  I’ve done everything to try to prevent them, but somehow, I ended up with the joy all over again.  And it sucks.  If you haven’t experienced these, lucky you.  If you have, I understand completely.  If you’re grossed out and think I’m silly for mentioning this, get over it.  This is a journal of my pregnancy, and at the moment, they are a part of this pregnancy.  I sincerely hope I never feel the need to mention them again, but feel I won’t be quite that lucky.

Okay, weirdness out of the way.  I had hoped to continue my productivity from last week, but because of this pain, I haven’t done much except keep the kitchen looking pretty decent all week.  And really, that’s good enough for me right now. 

Maybe by next week’s post, I’ll be over this and can write about something more uplifting.

A little bit behind

March 11, 2008

Okay, let’s see.  I’m twenty-seven weeks now.  Right.  By the time I had any time to write for my twenty-six week entry, it was already Sunday which made me twenty-seven weeks.  So, I’ve missed another one.  Oh, well. 

I’ve recently been very caught up in a few new food blogs I’ve stumbled across.  One is not strictly a food blog, but I’ve really only been reading the food parts, since I can just sort them out by category quite easily.  Not Martha is good reading, and a good deal of her entries are just links to other blogs, which of course makes for entirely new addictions to previously unheard of blogs and websites.  I’ve found some incredible looking recipes that I’m just dying to try now and I’ve seen some very good ideas as well.  Not that I would do it, but yesterday, I found out how to make jello shots out of a banana still in its skin.  Apparently, if you wash the banana, soak it in vodka and sugar, then put it in the refrigerator to marinate, so to speak, you can open the banana and the insides are literally gelled.  I’m not a fan of banana or straight shots, so I think this would be a bit much for me, but it was very interesting to see the process.  One thing I found that I’m very interested in trying out are cake balls.  You simply make a cake from a box (or from scratch, but for this purpose, the box would be easier by far), mix it with a can of cream cheese frosting (again, you could do this from scratch too) and make the mix into balls and chill.  Then you dip them into melted chocolate.  This sounds absolutely yummy and is very cute, too.  The only thing I’d be worried about is that it would be a bit on the sweet side.  Maybe using a very dark chocolate on the outside would help.

On to other things before I start drooling on the keyboard.

The baby has recently started having hiccups a lot.  It’s still moving like crazy and has started curling up with some hard part of its body (I imagine its back) pushed as far up as it can go.  This makes sitting upright very uncomfortable.  I’m also getting up once every night because of my bladder, where before, it was possible to sleep a bit longer.  Ah, how I love this part of pregnancy.  Okay, to be honest, it is better than puking.  Much better.

I’ve been making progress on my house, or at least I’ve been doing better at keeping up with the menial tasks.  The worst is when the floor hasn’t been swept in a while.  It doesn’t even take long since Elias throws his food all the time and likes to make ridiculous messes on a regular basis.  I’ve been keeping up on laundry and dishes most of the time, but the floor is a bit more work because we have too much furniture and other stuff and not enough floor space.  Anyway, I did it today and even got the kitchen done, which was sorely needed.  I don’t think any of you would understand how sorely needed it was.  Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to eat things that fell on it. 

At the moment, my stomach is tense (okay, more accurately, it’s my uterus) and I’m in a bit of pain.  The good old Braxton Hicks are in full swing lately, especially if I dare to do any housework or take a walk.  The contractions I have don’t do anything to me – I’ve never had preterm labour or anything – but they don’t feel very good.  Real labour is still twenty times worse than these, but these are a pain because I have to have them for four months before I can even have the kid.  I’m down to less than three months now, anyway.  Well, if I’m on time, that is. 

Now I’m giving thought to supper, as I don’t want to end up going out again.  We got our tax refund yesterday so we went out to eat.  Tonight I think I might make pizza.  Or rice pizza.  Rice pizza is a bit easier and even Elias will gobble it up.

So that’s about all I can handle for now.  I feel like having a nap would be a good idea, but we’ll see if I get caught up in something I can’t escape first (i.e. more Not Martha). 

To start things off, this is officially the beginning of week sixteen, so let it be known that I am not skipping this week just because it’s Christmas as well.  And besides, it’s almost 1:30 in the morning and I’ve nothing better to do. 

I’ve been eating too much of the wrong food.  Candy of all sorts, cookies, appetizers, pop, etc. and I’m starting to feel it.  Take today for example:

Breakfast: A sip of water and one Reeses peanut butter cup.  I think that’s all I managed to get down as I tried to get the kids fed and get all of us ready to head to church.

Lunch: A bit more healthy, but not quite solid enough, I suspect.  Salad with fried onions and pecans for topping with Asian Sesame dressing, a few pieces of smoked Gouda, lobster pate on two wheat thins, chips and guacamole…not sure I can remember what else I ate, but I did have two and a half Christmas cookies and split a butter tart with Jenny.  And a cup of Earl Gray tea with cream and sugar.  And some eggnog (“watered” down with milk).  I think that was about it.  I was satisfied, but I get the feeling that it has something to do with how I feel now.

Supper: Fried Tilapia in cajun seasoning, asparagus, butternut squash.  This meal sounds a whole lot healthier and certainly felt better going down since I got some veggies in there, but it was perhaps not quite enough to redeem the rest of the day.  And certainly not enough to redeem what followed.

The rest of the night: Donut and hot chocolate at hockey (someone brought about six dozen donuts and hot chocolate for the annual rec. vs. church hockey game that my father-in-law puts on), one Reeses cup, more or less, since Jenny had a few bites, about six Sour Patch Kids, remainder of a bag of Cheezies, and a few sips of water (still at hockey).  After coming home: one donut brought home from hockey.  We were the last ones there and someone said we should take them.  Thanks.  Now I have a dozen leftover donuts in my house.  I can literally smell them right now from their perch atop the high chair in the living room.  Sickly sweet.  After donut:  water, sip of juice to see how it tasted (new variety, I was curious), approximately 15 vegetarian samosas, most of which were dipped in some sort of plum sauce.  Followed by two cups of water. 

This isn’t even taking into consideration what I ate yesterday (way too much Coke and a slushy on the way home..what on earth was I thinking?).  And what I’ll eat tomorrow.  Or the next day.  I yearn right now for the strength to fast and clean out my system, but pregnancy simply won’t allow it.  And as sick as I might feel now, I know that tomorrow morning, I’ll be hungry again, willing to dig into the last of the donuts to fill my stomach.  Where did the days of yogurt and eggs go?  The days when I made an effort to watch what I ate so that I could quit gaining weight?  Well, I’m on my pregnancy diet now, and what I crave gets attention.  In the past, it’s worked wonderfully for me: I eat what I like when I like and I’ve never gained more than 33 pounds in a pregnancy (and that one was eight days overdue).  I weight twenty-five pounds less now than I did at this point in my last pregnancy, which is obviously a good thing, but my weight loss doesn’t care much for the all-sugar diet (I don’t blame it).  This poor child is going to come out with a sugar (and possibly caffeine) addiction and I won’t know what to do with it. 

It’s easy to write about the ills of my diet right now because my stomach is threatening mutiny at the moment.  Gurgling and aching for relief….with no relief in sight.  My best bet is to take my Diclectin with a nice big gulp of water, take a few Tums, brush my teeth and go to bed.  With any luck, I’d fall asleep quickly and not have to get up to puke.

The problem is that tomorrow, all the same stuff will appeal to me again.  Candy and Coke and chips and so forth will call out to me like sirens.  I ought to resist, but I’m not sure I’ll want to when it comes down to it. 

On a different subject, the ranks of mothers and father keep filling up as my husband’s first cousin and his wife just had a baby girl.  She was a month early and not supposed to be the first grandchild as her cousin was due to be born before her (sometime the end of this month).  The little unnamed thing weighed around five pounds.  Makes me glad I’ve never had a baby that early.  With that announcement, coming by way of my mother-in-law, came another: that little baby will have another cousin, as my husband’s other cousin and his wife are expecting now as well.  It will have taken my in-laws almost three years to have three grandchildren (almost four) while it will only take my husband’s aunt another eight months or so to have three.  Number one born yesterday, number two due in a few weeks and number three due sometime next year (August, perhaps?).  Even though we don’t see them very often, I’m very excited about all the babies coming into the world.  I like to know that I’m not alone in this part of life.  It should be obvious, but somehow it’s just so much more reassuring to have people all around me having babies. 

Well, I feel like I might be rambling a bit and not making much sense anymore (which is highly possible, given the hour), so I’d better put an end to it.  I may even write again this week, but hopefully if I do, I won’t be feeling like puking or falling asleep in my chair. 

Merry Christmas and thanks for reading (if anyone still is)!!