March 2, 2008
As in…this has to be quick, but I didn’t want to miss another week. If I can manage it, I am determined to stay weekly on this until the birth of this child (which at this point feels light years away…whatever a light year feels like).
I am doing better this week, but there is still an underlying feeling of disappointment with the world around me and my situation. I have talked to my parents and my siblings in the last week, which is great, and things don’t seem quite so difficult with my in-laws in some ways, but things still feel uneasy. I think I will have to fight depression for the rest of this pregnancy and more than likely every other one I ever go through. It’s not a surprise to me, but it is still a burden that I would rather not bear.
On a much lighter (well, in one way, anyway) note, I have been baking this week and enjoying it thoroughly. I made brownies on Wednesday, chocolate chip cookies on Thursday and raspberry oatmeal bars on Friday. I also took on a new venture and made my own butter on Friday. It’s much easier than it sounds (just put heavy cream and salt in the blender and blend until it separates) and it tastes so nice. I think it will be something I do often. If it worked out cheaper to always buy cream and do it at home, I probably would, but I think in the end, it isn’t cheaper than buying my butter. At least with butter, the ingredient list is rather short. Cream, salt, and sometimes colouring (although it’s easy to get butter without the salt or colouring). Margarine on the other hand…well, don’t get me started there. I won’t ever quit.
As for pregnancy, I’m feeling particularly pregnant this week, like things started happening again in there and the baby is growing (go figure). I’m wrapping up week twenty-five already and that at least tells me that I’m getting there. That and the fact that this kid won’t let me forget it (internally or externally). It’s not keeping me up yet, but I am finally at the point of getting up more than once in the night to use the bathroom. The only way I can avoid that is to stop drinking around supper time. The trouble with that (and my sister-in-law says she’s the same way) is that I get very thirsty before bed. I feel like gulping down glass after glass of water and then having more from the water bottle on my bedside table. So it’s kind of my fault and not just the baby’s that I have to get up so much. It’s not so bad, though, because half the time I have to get up anyway to take Jenny to the bathroom.
I can happily report that it’s been more than a month that my daughter has been out of diapers completely. She had been day trained for months, but we were reluctant to quit at night because she wasn’t waking up dry very often. Finally, after getting past two and a half, we decided it was past time and we tried it for a week. We’ve had our fair share of wet beds and midnight wakings, but it’s worth it. For one thing, we now only have to diaper Elias, which means we’re going through diapers very slowly. I did cloth on him for a few months, but then I got pregnant and went back to disposable most of the time. I think my goal is to go cloth on the baby almost 100% of the time. My in-laws really wouldn’t want to deal with cloth, though, so for times that the baby is with them or another babysitter, we’ll probably do disposable. We’re getting our tax refund (a nice big one) in a few weeks, and I’m planning to get a good supply of one-size diapers from Mother-ease. I really like the quality and the package deals are pretty reasonable – plus I’ll get free shipping if my order is big enough (and it will be). The great thing about cloth diapering a newborn is that you can put the dirty ones straight into the wash without rinsing them out. Breastmilk poop (mmm) is water soluble, so it doesn’t need pre-rinsing. Yes, I know disposables are more convenient in many ways, but I just can’t excuse the number I end up throwing away, especially with new babies. It’s kind of gross when you think about it. What I can’t wait to try are the flushable diapers…I guess they would cost more in the long run, but for traveling or for babysitters, at least I would know that the diaper is going to decompose very quickly compared to disposables and be just as easy as getting rid of a disposable, rather than having to store a cloth diaper.
I said this would be quick, but I’m approaching nine hundred words at this point. It is 10:30 on a Saturday night, which means I have to get up in the morning and I still have laundry to fold and dishes to do before I go to bed. It would also benefit me greatly to get the kids clothes ready for church and make sure I have all the right stuff in the diaper bag. Planning ahead can do a lot for me – I just don’t do it much.
I broke nine hundred. Guess it’s time to go. See you next week.